If They Can Do It--You Can, Too.

Bob Bly's blog makes me feel confident about my writing ability all the time.

Here's what he does: he finds bad ads and picks them to shreds. People got paid to write some of these ads. There are a lot of bad writers out there, folks. Why does this make me feel good? Because I know I'm better than that. Because clients who are used to this kind of writing will love it when they see actual good writing. I'm not trying to sound arrogant or condescending--just really, really optimistic.

If these people can get away with writing this stuff, imagine how much better you can do:

Business entrepreneurs. Check out this post about the phrase "business entrepreneurs" used in a radio ad for a web development company. What other entrepreneurs are there besides business ones? Doesn't the word "entrepreneur" imply business? C'mon, admit it: you can do better.

A jungle of jargon. Over here, there's a guy with a company bio that's full of jargon. Seriously. Check this out:

“CZ provides results-focused learning solutions aimed at providing employees with the essential skills that enable them to optimize their performance and achieve measurable business results.”

Do you have any idea what CZ actually does here? I don't.

Yes, typos matter. Then there's this post about a gym owner who sent out a postcard with a big, obvious typo in the copy. The gym owner was dismissive, saying the picture of the hot girl on the card will pull people in. Um, sure, if you're a straight guy who can't spell. But are those the only people you want to draw? Personally, a hot chick on an exercise bike isn't going to draw my attention--but a typo sure will.

Redundancy overload. Redundancy is everywhere. Witness this post about a car ad that starts off "if you have a car you don't need or have little use for..." Does the phrase "or have little use for" add meaning to this sentence? No. It just repeats the "don't need" concept with less clarity. It's muddy writing. You can do better.

There is a lot of bad writing out there. As a good writer, this is your competition. If your writing is better than the rest, you can't help but do well.

Overused Terms and Phrases: My Four Peeves

After spending the morning working on some client copy, I began thinking about words and phrases that are overused in ads, web copy, and business communication. I'm an easygoing person generally, but I get irrationally annoyed by certain words and phrases. Here are a few of my top annoyances.

"...that's right for you." As in, "ask your insurance agent about the coverage that's right for you." Another variation is to ask whether something is "right for you," as in "ask your doctor whether Prozac is right for you." It always strikes me as a little smarmy, and it's probably because it's such obvious ad-speak--nobody really talks like that. What really gets me, though, is when you're watching those pharmaceutical ads when the two friends are talking casually about their hemorrhoids and the one friend says to the other, "you should ask your doctor if Preparation H is right for you." Nobody says that!

Solution. Is it just me, or is the word "solution" overused? Nothing is a gadget, a piece of software, a toupee, or any specific product anymore. They're all solutions. Look, I understand that the word "solution" is popular in business because solutions solve problems, and you want to show customers that your product solves their problem. But what's wrong with calling it what it is...and then telling them how it solves their problems?

"...and more!" Okay, sometimes I confess I use this one. You know, you're writing copy for a website or something and you're listing all the fantastic services the business provides, including "stump removal, nose hair trimming, life coaching...and more!" That "and more" at the end is there to give the impression that so many services are involved that we can't possibly list them all here; what you see here is only a very small fraction of the benefits you receive by signing on with this company. But it's overused--and as with "...that's right for you," nobody really talks like that. It just sounds contrived.

Utilize. I seriously hate this word. What's wrong with the word "use"? It's short, direct, to the point, and it sounds natural. "Utilize" doesn't add any extra meaning; it's just empty syllables. It's only one example of other corporate-speak words out there that have perfectly serviceable everyday counterparts and seem to be utilized...er, used...just to show off the speaker's SAT vocabulary.

In business, there seems to be a trend towards words that obscure meaning, rather than define it. The problem is that these phrases give the impression that something's a bit off. There's the thought that if you don't tell customers to ask an expert whether something is "right for you" before buying, they could discover your product is seriously NOT "right for you" and sue your pants off. If you don't beat your readers over the head with the idea that your product is actually a solution, they might realize it doesn't actually solve problems at all. If you don't use empty-syllable words like "utilize" all the time, people might realize what it is you're actually saying--and that might turn out to be not much.

I think most of these phrases bother me because they're not specific. Specificity in copy is important--it removes the distance between yourself and your reader, and it makes you seem more honest and forthright. The more you can do that, the more people will understand your message--and trust you enough to buy.

Apostrophe Catastrophe!

I'm a pretty even-tempered person under normal circumstances. But we all have our irrational peeves, and mine is bad grammar. Okay, if writing just isn't your thing, I understand--I stink at math, after all. But I don't publish my sorry attempts at algebra and fractions. I never do math in public. My position is that people who don't have a solid grasp on the English language should not write anything that goes public, either--not without a proofreader to do damage control.

I have plenty of grammar gripes--too many to cover in just one post. So today I'm focusing on the most misunderstood piece of punctuation ever to mark a page: the humble apostrophe.

I see more apostrophe catastrophes in stores, newspaper ads, internal business communications, and websites than I do any other grammatical mistake. And every time I see one, I make an automatic judgment about the business or person involved. I think uneducated. Careless. Not too bright. I know many people would think that's a little harsh--but it's not. Your writing is your way of communicating with customers, clients, and partners--and if your apostrophes are always getting away from you, they'll think those things, too. Here are a few of the most common apostrophe mistakes I've seen--and how to fix them.

Apostrophes with plural nouns. I can't say how many times I've been in a department store and seen a big sign for "SHOE'S." Most writers would probably think something like shoe's what? Some sort of accessory department for shoes, perhaps? Like shoe polish or laces? Say it with me, folks: Plural nouns DO NOT need an apostrophe. If you're talking about more than one shoe--or if you want to indicate the location of the shoe department in your store, maybe--your sign should read "SHOES."

This error in public: The apostrophe problem in our country is so great that someone actually dedicated a blog to catching the errors. There are plenty of examples here, particularly this one here from a sign in a public school. When the teachers themselves don't know what to do with their apostrophes, it's no wonder nobody else does.

Possessive nouns with no apostrophes. It's equally common to find possessive nouns traipsing around in public without their apostrophes. You know we're in a sad state when sites that market to writers omit their apostrophes from their possessives. Whose store is this? Certainly not a writer's store--although you might be able to buy a writer here.

This error in public: Check out this resource for writers. Come on, guys--you're marketing to writers and you leave your apostrophe out of your intro headline. Your target audience is going to think exactly what I do: if you can't even tell a plural from a possessive, what can you possibly tell me about writing as an industry?

Plural vs. singular possessives. When you're talking about something owned by one person or thing, your apostrophe comes before the s: Joe's book, the car's wheel. If you're talking about something owned by two or more people or objects, the apostrophe comes after the s: The students' books, the cats' tails. This one is often confused. I see a lot of businesses trying to avoid making a mistake by eliminating the apostrophe altogether--or even the plural itself.

This error in public: This magazine has a prime example of a singular possessive where there should be a plural possessive: "Writer's Blogs." So I guess this means all the blogs on their list are written by one extremely prolific writer, right? And here's an example of a site that just got rid of the apostrophe altogether. There are actors and blogs on this site, but one is not related to the other.

It's vs. Its. These are confusing because they buck the possessive rule. "It's" is a contraction of "it is," while "its" is the possessive--"The tree dropped its leaves." Because it's an exception to the rule, this is an easy one to screw up.

This error in public: Here's a blog with the classic "it's/its" mistake loud and proud in the title. Apparently, bad grammar is a nursing thing. Oh, and here's an example of the opposite problem on a well-known news site. Shame on you, ABC.

Contraction confusion. There are all kinds of ways to screw up contractions. One of the most common ones is the "your/you're" dilemma. "Your" is a possessive; your food or your drink. "You're" is a contraction of you and are--you're a grammar genius. Despite the simplicity, these are often tragically mangled.

This error in public: This guy is obviously a victim of grammatical crime.

Despite the careless way many people write, grammar does matter. It makes an impression on others, for good or ill. Avoid these apostrophe blunders, and you'll avoid making the wrong impression on your audience.