Suppressing That “Nice” Reflex

I was negotiating a contract with a client the other day. The client sent me their contract, I looked it over, and found a term I wasn’t too comfortable with. The job was interesting and paid well, and I wanted it—but not with that term. This was someone I’d done business with before, and was on great terms with. But that one thing in the contract bothered me.

So I wrote a note mentioning it and asking if we could change the contract to eliminate that one thing. And immediately regretted it. It was kind of “mean” to do that, wasn’t it? I mean, this guy and I were practically best buddies! We’d gone out to drinks together! We’re friends on Facebook! If I make waves about his contract, won’t I look like a jerk?

Then the client got back to me and all was fine. We took that section of the contract out and the project went on as scheduled. If I had listened to that voice inside my head—the one that told me I wasn’t being “nice”—I would have been stuck with a contract I wasn’t crazy about.

Being nice is all well and good with friends and family. But when you’re in business, you can’t let it get in the way of your livelihood. People who are great friends of yours will take advantage of you—and as a friend, you’re supposed to let them. But in business, it doesn’t work that way—and that’s why it’s rarely a good idea to do business with close friends.

What’s your opinion on “nice” in a business environment? Does it get you ahead—or is it self-destructive?