"So, Which of Your Books Have I Read?"--Five Writing Myths Revealed

I never thought I'd say it this soon...or say it before I had a novel published--but I'm a professional writer. It makes me extremely proud to say it; part of me feels like even if I never write the Great American Novel, I've still already accomplished a very important goal I set for myself. Sometimes I mutter it to myself as I walk down the street, just 'cause I like the way it sounds. People stop and stare at me strangely--unless they hear what it is I'm muttering. Then they'll stop me and say, "oh, what books have you written?"

There are a lot of myths out there about the writing profession. Now that I can officially call myself "professional," I feel qualified to debunk a few. Here are some of the most prevalent ones that annoy me:

You're not a real writer unless you've written a book. Most people hear "writer" and think "novels." But novelists are only a very small fraction of the professional writing community. You've got ad copywriters, scriptwriters, speechwriters, journalists, professional bloggers....the list goes on and on. All of these people write something for a living. Don't think that just because someone says they're a writer, they've written a book--or that you're showing polite interest by asking them what books they've written. To a writer, that's a loaded question; it's like asking an out-of-work actor what blockbuster movies he's been in. Instead, show polite interest by asking them what kind of writing they do.

Writers' block. I saw a post over at Words on the Page today about writers' block, and it got me thinking about how incredibly over it I am. There's this idea that writers are terrified of the blank page; that we sometimes sit down and have existential struggles with ourselves over every phrase we write. And okay, when I was trying to write my first novel in sixth grade--it was about a unicorn--I occasionally indulged in writers' block. But my belief now is that it's a disease of writers who aren't working. I never experience writers' block when working on client projects; sometimes an idea is slow in coming, but that doesn't mean I bang my head against the keyboard and weep to the muses. Instead I brainstorm, go over my interview notes, check out what competitors are doing, and try to learn more about the product--and something always comes. And I've found that now I'm treating my novel-writing like a job, I never get writers' block there either.

You have to be a tortured soul to be a writer. To some, Byron and Poe are quintessential writers; they're dark, tortured souls whose messy personal lives inspired their writing. And maybe some writers can't do their work without some sort of angst to fuel them. But many writers are perfectly normal, well-adjusted people who just happen to have a way with words and a facile imagination. Occasionally when I talk to people about my artistic interests, they get all surprised that I'm not some kind of alcoholic or something--after all, I'm an artiste. But in my opinion you don't have to live conflict to write about it--and if you do, maybe your imagination is lacking.

Anyone can write. It's no sweat. I think this problem stems from the fact that we all learn to write in school--and many people don't read enough good writing to realize their own isn't that great. But anyone can jog down the street, too--and not everyone is a marathon runner. Just because you, in particular, know the alphabet and can construct a sentence, that doesn't mean you can write like a professional can. It takes skill to build believable characters and pace a story correctly, craft a sales letter that inspires people to buy, or even write an educational article that breaks a complicated idea down in a way anyone can understand.

You're not a real writer unless you... get up at four in the morning to write; experience a burning desire to write every day of your life; write esoteric short stories that nobody really wants to read; sacrifice a chicken to the Writing Gods at the full moon....the list goes on. There are all kinds of elitist messages out there about the hoops you have to jump through to be a "real" writer. As opposed to a fake writer. I think it's all nonsense. My definition of a "real" writer is someone who writes well--and I realize that some might consider "writing well" to be a pretty subjective judgment call, but believe me, you know good writing when you see it. I might also add that I believe you're a "real" writer when you're getting paid to write--even if it's not your full-time job. Other than that, all bets are off.